Carbon Neutrality

I was thinking (some might argue a first for me)....and I've never been one to be sucked into this whole Carbon Neutral thing (after all our whole world is made up of Carbon...its not like we're made up of Sulphur or Neon is it)....anyway that wasn't my point....my point is...shouldn't you get Carbon Neutral bonus points for growing a moustache..surely the otherwise waste product (body hair) is expensive to remove, in the former of metallic razor blades, and it would also stop you from eating certain foods, as they'll get stuck in your upper lip and finally on the premise that you are saving energy by heating your upper lip.... If this is the case then I suggest we petition Greenpeace to start a petition....screw Japanese Whaling....Screw Nuclear Waste,Kyoto protocol - boring, Amazon destruction-been doing it for years, endangered species (only if they're cute and cuddly mind you) are just attention seeking organisms (a bit like Rove).....so Greenpeace I say...get your shit together and recognise the Mo for what it is.....a revolutionary way for men to stay Carbon Neutral and save the environment.....now just wait until I come up with an environmental argument to justify the drinking of beer in school playgrounds.....I swear I need to become a policy advisor....

Grimace

I've spent most of the day thinking about it....what the f#*k is 'Grimace'...the big fat purple thing at McDonalds? I mean who the f#*k came up with that idea...I know what we'll do to accompany a child-molesting clown we'll give him a fat purple side kick and name him after spending 3hrs constipated on the toilet.....I mean really is he supposed to represent the fat purple s#*t that clogs your arteries after eating a cheesburger? Or does he represent the look on your face after you've tried to digest the 'nuggets'? I'm not a professional in marketing....but what the f#*k...I get the Hamburgler (he burgles hamburgers), birdy (shes a bird) and Ronald, yeah sure he's a child-molesting paedo escaped from jail and now doing kids parties whilst trying to fatten them up at the same time.....but really Grimace!!! I mean I may as well call a character...buttplug or crustyknob.....maybe I just have too much spare time on my hands.....