Thursday, 8 August 2013

Parachuting Pigs, Toxic Tipple and Political Posturing


Recent events in Georgia have highlighted a critical aspect of the dual-use dilemma often forgotten by scientists and researchers busily applying their trade – It is not just the technology and scientific discoveries that may be corrupted and utilised for nefarious purposes, but rather, it is the perception of the research itself which can easily be exploited for political gain.


Gennady Onishchenko, Russia’s Chief Medical Officer and head of ‘RosPotrebNadzor’ the Russian consumer protection agency claimed late last month that a U.S funded bio-lab in Georgia (the country not the US State) posed, “a direct threat” to Russia and a “Direct violation of the BWC”.  This statement was further echoed by Vyacheslav Tetekin, a member of the Dumas Committee on Defence, who suggested that there is a “perception that biological weapons are beginning to be used by the Americans more and more widely. I see this situation from the point of view of national security”.  Both officials firmly accuse the Georgian authorities of kowtowing to their U.S puppet masters.

The ‘Richard G Lugar Center for Public Health Research’ in Tbilisi, which is at the centre of this spat, saw a U.S investment of US$150 million into the state of the art lab.  Of course Georgian officials were quick to point out the absurdity of the comments and further highlighted the point that Russian personnel had already inspected the facilities and, in fact, any expert or specialist was welcome to do the same.  Whilst the likelihood of such a facility being used for a covert biological weapons programme seems remote, it is crucial to note that the spectre of dual-use potential still looms large in the minds of many.

Onishchenko had, earlier this year, claimed that Georgia deliberately introduced African Swine Fever (ASF) to Russia by parachuting in a regiment of infected pigs.  This claim seems to compliment his earlier fears that food and wine may be poisoned by the Georgians, presumably as some kind of retribution for the 2008 war.  It also seems to have the added bonus of being yet another opportunity to lash out at the Americans and their allies to fostering further animosity and ambiguity.

The reality is that the researchers at this facility are little more than a giant political football, to be kicked around by competing sides on the field of international politics.  The Cold War may be officially over, but a competitive legacy undoubtedly still remains (albeit with a few Georgian players substituted into the U.S team).  For this football match, a goal is not simply scored by conducting the best research but instead it’s the media conferences and press coverage where the game is won and lost (perhaps not a match for Wayne Rooney then). 

The script between the U.S and Russia is by now almost farcical, both sides repeating claims that would make a long running West-End show like the ‘Mousetrap’ look fresh.  The U.S continues to highlight the opacity surrounding the Russian Biodefense programme, compliance issues and the inheritance of Soviet activities. In retort the Russians ask for evidence and then point to dubious dual-use activities and the U.S refusal to create verification mechanisms for the BWC.  Whilst, for the rest of us, it seems that the science and real threats are usually cast aside for yet another round of political point scoring.  These competing narratives fail to enhance security for any nation, instead they continue to fuel a cycle of anxiety that should have long since passed.

For those conducting the actual research it is worth remembering that problems with dual-use technologies are not confined to the laboratory, indeed perception and PR can be just as dangerous a weapon as any pathogen. Rhetoric and political stoushes serve only to fuel the security dilemmas of old and detract from key biotech breakthroughs.  The continued lack of verification protocols in the BWC coupled with the often opaque (and in the case of Russia, some might argue covert) nature of biodefense research will continue to pose a significant threat to international security. 


And whilst parachuting pigs and poisoned wine from Georgia may seem an absurd threat to some, at least Onishchenko occasionally gives good advice that we can all agree on: “Don’t swallow donuts in the supine position under the TV”. 

Friday, 1 April 2011

Chatroulette

As one of the world’s greatest procrastinators I am always looking for another new way to waste some of my time. Not content with days spent in front of YouTube, Sidereel and Facebook, the discovery of Chatroulette initially seemed to be of what dreams are made. Unfortunately, after only a few minutes my utopian dream of talking all day to gorgeous Scandinavian models was blown away by the online reality of masturbating men with unusually small cocks!

For those of you who are not familiar with the website, the basic idea is to randomly match strangers for an online conversation (often with a mic and webcam) from anywhere in the world. Designed by a 17yr old Russian kid, the site went live in November of 2009 and quickly garnered a lot of public and media attention. Just like other great Russian inventions such as Vodka, the AK-47 and Tetris, Chatroulette takes a seemingly simple idea, adds an easy interface and creates a recipe for chaos!

Chatroulette works from that car crash mentality, which sees you both utterly repulsed and morbidly interested in what’s going on. That is not to say that I like to see fat, hairy, naked men jerking off, but there is always that thought in the back of your mind that the next person you click will be entertaining. Somewhere in the deep recesses of your brain this idea that your missing out on something makes seeing endless douchebags with their hats on backwards seemingly worthwhile. In reality though you get either masturbation, signs asking to flash your boobs, college kids in their dorm rooms listening to Dave Matthews, a person in a stupid mask and occasionally someone smoking a bong. In short it is what the internet is all about..... Porn, drug use, stupidity and fat, annoying, Americans!

As far as I can see then Chatroulette serves only three real purposes. Firstly, as a procrastination tool it is almost without equal. Secondly, it is a quick way to become acquainted with the internet and realise how low humanity has sunk and therefore you get to realise your life isn’t that bad after all. Finally, and in my opinion most importantly (although this only really applies to males or perhaps shemales) you will never worry again that you haven’t been endowed with a large enough penis....seriously if you don’t believe me take a look....

Tuesday, 18 March 2008

Carbon Neutrality

I was thinking (some might argue a first for me)....and I've never been one to be sucked into this whole Carbon Neutral thing (after all our whole world is made up of Carbon...its not like we're made up of Sulphur or Neon is it)....anyway that wasn't my point....my point is...shouldn't you get Carbon Neutral bonus points for growing a moustache..surely the otherwise waste product (body hair) is expensive to remove, in the former of metallic razor blades, and it would also stop you from eating certain foods, as they'll get stuck in your upper lip and finally on the premise that you are saving energy by heating your upper lip.... If this is the case then I suggest we petition Greenpeace to start a petition....screw Japanese Whaling....Screw Nuclear Waste,Kyoto protocol - boring, Amazon destruction-been doing it for years, endangered species (only if they're cute and cuddly mind you) are just attention seeking organisms (a bit like Rove).....so Greenpeace I say...get your shit together and recognise the Mo for what it is.....a revolutionary way for men to stay Carbon Neutral and save the environment.....now just wait until I come up with an environmental argument to justify the drinking of beer in school playgrounds.....I swear I need to become a policy advisor....

Grimace

I've spent most of the day thinking about it....what the f#*k is 'Grimace'...the big fat purple thing at McDonalds? I mean who the f#*k came up with that idea...I know what we'll do to accompany a child-molesting clown we'll give him a fat purple side kick and name him after spending 3hrs constipated on the toilet.....I mean really is he supposed to represent the fat purple s#*t that clogs your arteries after eating a cheesburger? Or does he represent the look on your face after you've tried to digest the 'nuggets'? I'm not a professional in marketing....but what the f#*k...I get the Hamburgler (he burgles hamburgers), birdy (shes a bird) and Ronald, yeah sure he's a child-molesting paedo escaped from jail and now doing kids parties whilst trying to fatten them up at the same time.....but really Grimace!!! I mean I may as well call a character...buttplug or crustyknob.....maybe I just have too much spare time on my hands.....